TWENTY SEVENTEEN RESOLUTE!

I don't know why, but I wasn't really keen on writing a blog post about New Year resolutions! Well, look at me now bloody writing one. Well sorta, it's probably not going to be the kind of post you're expecting to read.

Now don't think I'm the grinch of New Years, it basically comes down to the fact I'm someone who naturally doesn't resort to setting resolutions and goals just because the New Year has rolled around once again. I'm more of an 'all year round' kinda gal and that's with everything in my life not just goal setting. I don't partake in convenience at all. And I really dislike that word, and I dislike those who behave and practice convenience. Any who, back to the resolute's of the year, it's all about convenience right now, and that's probabaly why I don't like it, but it's convenient for everyone to set their resolutions.

My belief is pretty simple, if there's something I want to do and something I would like to achieve, I just do it and then I achieve it. Regardless of the time of year! 

Setting goals at this time of year, it's the expected, it's the norm and eveeerybody's doing it. We tell ourselves it's a new year, which means it's a fresh start, to start over and do more or less of the things we did the year prior. What I am trying to say is, we don't just have to wait till the 1st of Jan pulls through each year - set them goals all year round. It's never too late to start, re-create or add to the grind during the 365 day cycle.

I'm not setting any resolutions, but if someone happens to ask what mine are, I'll respond with one word only... GROWTH! This word epitomises what I hope the rest of my life is about. Growth! Growth in love, growth in laughter, growth in family, growth independently, growth in health, growth in wealth, growth in healing, growth in abundance. You get the drift now? Growth - that word is intensely powerful to me, it's what makes me want to wake up bright and early every single day and grind that hustle with my perfect little family. I simply want growth in all aspects of my life and only in the most genuine, positive way possible.

I read a blog post yesterday about letting 2017 be your selfish year. A lot of it genuinely resonated with me. I think it's because I made some choices last year that were to be exactly that... to be selfish in 2017.

(This is my story, don't judge. If you don't like it simply exit). It's crazy to think that if I didn't miscarry back in April last year, that we would have had our second baby in December just gone. The miscarraige really affected me, my nana passed away the week prior and I guess finding out that we were expecting was some positive news for our family. To then miscarry, it was just another sad loss that I had to deal with. 

So I delved myself into being the best mother I could be to Willow, the best wife to Darius and I kept myself as busy as possible with my own career. And that's exactly what I did, work got busier and busier and I had multiple commitments and roles locked in till mid 2017. Then on the 2nd of August I found out that we were 7 weeks pregnant. But this time it didn't quite feel the same. For whatever reason I didn't feel happy about it, I felt sad, I felt lost, I felt confused and I felt scared shitless. 

Willow was at an age where she was so much more full on than when she was only 6 months old when I miscarried, she was a breezy newborn so in April I was like hell yeah I can have four of these nuggets easy! But as you know, the older they get the more and more full on they become. That's when I realised, I couldn't do it all. I completely had my doubts that I was no longer the superwoman I thought I was. But the reality for me was, I couldn't have an 18 month old, a newborn and continue to do all the things I had committed to career-wise in 2017. During pregnancy with Willow, I suffered from Hyperemesis for 7.5 months out of 8.5 months, all I kept thinking was if I had to endure that again along with all of the above I would go crazy.

I had to give something up, in the end after discussing it with Darius I chose to be selfish. And I do at times feel selfish for making that decision. Especially when there are women who struggle with falling pregnant and obviously there are those who are extremely against terminations. I continue to remind myself that it was the right choice for me, and the right choice for our family. 

Then there I was two days later, hosting a live Chin-Wag on stage at the Broncos Fillies High-Tea, smiling and having to act normal when inside my heart was aching and my mind was going all over the place questioning whether I made the right choice.

The only plus side is I get to give more one on one attention to my little babe Willow and concentrate on her growth and be there for my big babe Darius' growth too (for a wee while longer anyway).  

So I guess that can also explain why I don't want to get into the resolutions thing, it's all about growth for me. 2017 will be my selfish year, I promise myself that much. I'll be selfish for all the right reasons, looking into the future I know if we plan for it, it will be the perfect timing for us.

Here's to the year of being 100% content in your journey. Because it is your's after all.  

May 2017 bring you growth  βœ¨πŸ’«πŸ˜˜  

 

LET 2017 BE YOUR SELFISH YEAR! Link below (a must read)! 

 http://thoughtcatalog.com/lauren-jarvis-gibson/2016/12/let-2017-be-your-selfish-year/

 

Kayla Boyd7 Comments